Names have been removed to honor the privacy of the campers and their families.
Hi Amy,
I can’t believe that it has already been a year since ----- attended Camp Cadi for the first time. She is so excited to be returning for her second year. Preparing ----- for her return to Camp Cadi has started me thinking about the past year and I needed to jot a quick note to you about what a positive impact your program has had not only on -----, but on our entire family dynamic. The effects of Camp Cadi have reached far, far beyond “a fun week at camp”.
Being the child of a single working parent, ----- is an expert summer camper. She has attended Church camp, Y camp, Girl Scout Camp, Adopted Kids Camp, Abused Kids Camp, Foster Kids Camp, etc., etc., etc. Her week at Camp Cadi was, without a doubt, the single best week she has ever spent in her life.
Camp Cadi created a spark which has become a flame of healing. After 4 years of traditional therapy her therapist & I was at our wits end trying to find a way to reach her. She was just shut down. She literally didn’t talk. Everything was “good” and if you pushed for elaboration, you could tell that all you were hearing was what she thought you wanted to hear, not what she actually thought or felt. We never had conversations, we had teeth pulling sessions. As you can imagine, this is neither a happy nor a healthy way to live. A great shift occurred the day I picked her up from Camp Cadi.
When I arrived to pick her up, all was normal. She pretended that she didn’t know who I was and when I forced a hug on her and asked “how was camp?”; she pulled away from me mumbling “good”. We packed up the car and as we pulled out I said, “So how was the week, what did you do?” AND SHE TOLD ME!!!! She started talking and did not stop for 4 HOURS!!!!
We were having a conversation!!!! I couldn’t believe it, on the outside I was just going with the flow, but my internal dialog was freaking out. My inside voice just kept repeating “She’s talking, oh my gosh, she’s talking, I can’t believe this, she’s talking”. We were in the car for a little over an hour and she talked the whole time, telling me about all of the things she did, playing the camp songs CD she had written.
She was incredibly proud to have part of writing and recording “her” song. I assumed that once we arrived home, she would head to her room and that would be the end of it, but NO. As she unpacked she showed me all of the things that she had made and received as gifts, explaining in detail all of the various experiences. ----- has NEVER EVER voluntarily showed me anything that she has brought home from anyplace. This open sharing was another first. Her “Courage” blanket and comfort blanket were placed on her bed like a bedspread, and went with her to ever other camp she attended last summer. The Camp Cadi blankets still have a place of honor and I regularly find her wrapped in them. I still look back on that day in awe. I had felt hopeless about our situation for so long and for the first time I saw that healing, growth and perhaps, even a happy future was possible. Of course, as they say “one step forward –two steps back. We all fall back into old habits and ----- is no different, but now when she shuts down, we were able to remind her of a time when she open which helps her to return.
I strongly believe that ----- has been better able to handle many situations over this past year because of the Camp Cadi “spark” that she carried with her.
Sadly, ----- still has a victim’s personality, deep down she feels unworthy and deserving of abuse. Predators recognize this and target her and she does not fight back. She has always had problems with bullying, harassment and even physical assaults at school, and she has always kept it hidden. However, this year, again for the first time ever, she let me know that a boy at school made her feel uncomfortable. Over the course of two months on three separate occasions she told me about inappropriate behavior. We worked with the school and were able to prevent things from escalating and eventually, the boy was expelled from school. If she had not become used to talking to me, this could have easily become another situation I would not have learned about until it was too late.
One of the things at Camp that ----- had felt unable to do, was to share her abuse story. I was not surprised by this as she had never fully shared it with anyone. That also changed this year. In the fall things at home started spiraling downward fast but in a different way than before, ----- was now acting out. At the low point, one evening ----- came to me and said (I paraphrase) I need to tell you my abuse story, I don’t want to, but I know that keeping it inside is what is causing me to act the way I am.
And she did (needless to say it was an intense 4 hours) and she told her therapist and then (under the heading again of One step forward two steps back) she started telling everyone. Her best friend, her best friend’s parents, random 8th grade boy on her track team (that was an uncomfortable call from the school!).
At Camp Cadi she saw with her own eyes, that girls were happier because they shared. Telling her story was no longer just another “dumb mom” idea, she learned at Camp Cadi that it really worked. And although it may have taken her 6 more months to find the courage to tell her own story, she finally has and the difference is obvious. We are now working on the concept of “oversharing”. What a wonderful problem to have!
Well, it seems as though my quick note has grown into a longer letter, so I will just close by saying thank you. Thank you for having the vision, courage and strength to create Camp Cadi. It is as powerful as it is unique. If every girl who has been victimized could have attended a Camp Cadi, the world would be a happier, healthier place. Thank you for helping make my little corner of the world just that.